What if the Woman is the one doing the spending for every date…?

I have just read about Catherine Finney, the 25-year-old cashier facing jail for misappropriating £17,000 in three years.

Poor woman was trying to impress ‘a new catch’ and so spent the money on lavish dates. Girl, didn’t your mama teach you anything?

You can’t blow that much on a couple of romantic outings. If you’re going to steal, let it be for you or perhaps for your kids, not some guy who may just be out to have some fun.

Guys, please don’t bash me but we can’t have grown men riding on women’s backs or should that be heists?

Let Ms Finney’s misfortune be a lesson to all ladies. Unless he’s your husband, son or brother, don’t beg, borrow or steal to pay his bills. I know many women who’ve made many sacrifices only for the men to end up with other women.

A friend who manages a family wholesale business nearly lost out when her boyfriend kept taking items on credit. She thought she was helping him and a couple of times even used her own salary to cover his debts only to learn that he had opened a retail outlet for another woman he had been seeing.

I know that men do this most. They’ve paid tuition, bought cars and built houses for their women only for their lovers to run off with other men.

It’s heartbreaking to whichever party that makes this kind of investment and gets no returns, which is why I’m for splitting of bills.

Why should one person have to bear the cost when you’re both enjoying the relationship, assuming you’re enjoying it? If you’re both gainfully employed, live in the same house and share the food, there’s no reason not to pull your weight.

I wouldn’t be comfortable using things I didn’t buy all the time. Even now, I dread asking friends or neighbours for things. For instance if I run out of teabags or want to make an urgent call but don’t have airtime, not because I can’t afford it but because no one sells it around our office and I forgot to buy on my way to work, I’ll get all nervous wondering what the person I’m requesting for help thinks of me.

That’s why I don’t think I’d wait on a man to give me money to do my nails, hair or whatever. I happen to work with more guys than girls and often, I overhear the men planning dates or talking about their outings. It’s always, “I took her to this place” or “I bought her a nice phone…” There’s nothing wrong with treating someone you care about to a nice dinner or giving them a present on their birthday.

The problem is that these are not girlfriends or wives. They are random girls men are trying to impress with no guarantee that a meaningful relationship will ensue. If you’re going to spend an average of Rwf20,000 a night on girls, you’ll have blown Rwf100,000 in just five days. How many bags of cement or bricks are those? I told my friend Paul, who just turned 28, that if he didn’t spend so much on women, he’d be out of his mother’s house with his own furniture and pans!

There are guys who drink every night but they can’t buy chargers or tissue and they ask me for these every single day.

Back to Finney. If I had access to £17,000, (and I’m not condoning theft of any kind) I’d have bought a piece of land and put up a couple of rental units. By the time my employer got to me, I’d probably have started collecting rent, which I’d then use to pay back.

What Ms Finney did was stupid and what a price she’s paying! Imprisonment, tarnished reputation, no job and probably no man. It definitely wasn’t worth it.

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