There was once a time when giving birth before marriage was a crime worse than treason and murder put together. In many tribes across Africa it was punishable by death. During that time, sex before marriage was almost unheard of. It was so scary that girls feared to sit on the same chair or stool a boy had sat on for fear they would get pregnant.
Today things have changed. So much that it’s almost becoming a trend for young women, especially the educated, to have babies before marriage as if it’s an achievement. You often hear them say ‘next year I’m going to have a baby or the moment I get that promotion, I will have a baby then settle down’. Many no longer care about husbands. These girls are taught to be independent; unfortunately they take it so literally that if not well guided, they may even end up getting independence from God. If one doesn’t have fear or respect for their culture and societal values and feel they are above everyone else including their own parents, how in the world would they fear their Creator?
Anyway, these girls think independence means standing with their wallets and leaning on no one; they think having a man in their lives will spoil their hard earned reputation as the exemplary ‘miss independent’. They fear it will be viewed as a sign of weakness and dependence.
Unlike previous years when single motherhood used to be frowned upon, today it seems it’s slowly getting acceptable; parents or care takers of single mothers used to punish them usually by letting them fend for themselves. Other girls would learn from their misery and avoid it at all costs. Today’s single mothers get away with it because they make their own money and don’t beg anyone for pampers, not even the kid’s biological father. Just like the black widow spider that kills the male immediately after mating , these ladies are so sleek that they can trick almost any man and have a baby with him then discard him and go on to raise the child without his help.
Truth is, whether you are CEO or Aliko Dangote rich, choosing to be a single parent is culturally and morally wrong and also affects the kid more than you will ever know. This status doesn’t raise but it will lower your standards. I don’t know about you, but if this is what quality education and being independent means to some of these fine young women, then we need divine intervention.