Just how far would you go to keep your partner happy? Are any areas taboo? Let’s explore the issue on whether to clean your partners’ underwear.
When I was asked to write about underwear; specifically if I would be comfortable with washing my partner’s, I thought: what a fun article to write! And then I immediately felt shy because Ugandans are judgmental. You may forever refer to Apenyo as the panty writer.
Underwear is important. It is like an envelope for your genitals, the last article of clothing to desert you. Panties are your veil between yes and no, between decency and the vulnerability that comes with being naked.
When you are dating somebody, especially if you have gotten intimate with them, they at some point seem like an extension of you. Things like underwear stop being so hidden. That is where our article comes in. Is there a level of intimacy so deep that it becomes Ok, even commonplace to wash your partner’s panties?
For the sole reason that I hate doing laundry, my answer is no. If I did not follow a washing system before my bath, I would be having piles of underwear festering in the laundry basket. Wash your own panties, word, because washing is a bore.
However, I would totally let my partner wash mine. If he is happy to spend long minutes scrubbing piles of the tiny crotch handkerchiefs that are panties, I would thank him profusely and reward him with a meal that would be so good, he would be inspired to propose marriage.
I do not think it is shameful or weird to wash the underwear of your beloved, especially if you do not view laundry as a hated chore. I asked some people about this and here is what they said:
Carolyn says underwear can never be ‘other laundry’. “It is even delicate and cannot be scrubbed with a brush like jeans. And no, I do not expect him to do mine, so he cannot expect that of me either,” she says.
Tracy, though, would not have a problem, as long as it is not expected. “If a man says woman, it is your role! I would not touch them,” she says.
The attitude and expectations of your partner matter a lot. It is not anybody’s duty to wash the pieces of cloth that you fart on all day. In the same vein, Aggrey says: “We have to help each other and go away from the old ways. It all depends on what kind of woman I am dating. If she is the type to take advantage or start taking it for granted that I will wash every time, then no.”
Kay tells of how disgusted she was when, as a child, she realised that her mom washed her dad’s boxers. She, however, says she would help her boyfriend out if he was sick.
“I do not think people are as bothered by men’s underwear as they are by women’s. I remember cringing every time one of my exes would bundle his gunky shorts with the rest of his clothes and give them to the washer lady. She never complained, but would have said something, I am sure, if she had discovered one of mine in the pile,” she says.
Jim says the solution to everything is just not to wear panties at all, but he is a crazy fellow. Let us not listen to him.
I GLADLY WASH HIS PANTIES:
By Goretti Amayo
My earliest memories of housework are about my mum doing practically everything. She cleaned, cooked, played with us, did laundry, raised all five of us and yet, had the time to go to work too.
Another distinct thing I remember is that when she washed, she also washed my father’s underwear. So, for me, it was an absolutely natural thing to do.
My mother is my role model. I often tell people that if I could be half the woman she is, I know I would have succeeded as a working mother and wife.
So, when I got into my first serious relationship, and things looked like they were going to be ‘for better, for worse’, I never thought twice about picking up after him and washing his undies. But, as fate would have it, after six years, things went downhill and we were no more. But, that is a story for another day.
Four years later, I met the father of my beautiful daughters, and from the moment we became domestic partners, I have been washing his undies without a second thought.
Call me old fashioned, call me a woman living in medieval times, but I have two daughters with this man. Clearly, I have shared a lot more with him than just living quarters, so what is picking up a piece of cloth that houses his more intimate regions and make sure they are clean?
Many of my friends consider it beneath them to do so. Evangeline says: “I am 35 years old, a supervisor at my place of work, and when I come home and wash his undies, I am thinking: ‘Truly, is this what I have been reduced to?’ Really?”
But then I think, if I do not do it, who will? The maid? I think not! While there are days I think to myself: Why doesn’t he wash his own undies, I still pick them up, wash them, and put them away.
What men say:
Ivan Magumba, IT personnel
If we are legally married, I would not mind because washing my underwear shows a sign of togetherness. But, if she is not willing to wash them, I would not force her because she might think that I despise her. But sometimes, when my fiancée is feeling very weak, I give her a helping hand.
Saidi Kaganda, businessman
I think it is a woman’s responsibility to wash her husband’s underwear. If she happens to wash them, I would respect her more. But, I cannot wash her knickers even if she is in a critical condition. In fact, a man who washes women’s knickers is not man enough.
Yunus Ssennyimba, artist
Since most men do not want to wash, I would feel so relieved if she helps me out. If she washes them every day, it is a sign that she truly loves me and wants to see me tidy all the time. But, if she is in a critical condition, or busy attending to the baby, I can also wash her knickers.
Sadat Kinene, health club attendant
It would be okay if she is willing to assist me. But, that does not imply that I can help her to wash hers, even if she is too busy. In most cases, if a woman washes your under garments, it shows how much she treasures your relationship.
Women have their say:
Veron Jones, journalist
If I can pamper him, how can I find it difficult to wash his underwear? These days, if you are not creative, a desperate woman can snatch your husband by doing what disgusts you. In most cases, if you wash your partner’s underwear, he will treasure you.
Esther Nawajje, Cashier
Since most men do not know how to wash, I prefer to wash his underwear in order to remove all the stains, and also ensure that they are thoroughly clean. In fact, after he has a shower, I often remind my husband to drop his underwear in the bucket because it is my duty to look after him. If he has a bad odour, it is me who will be ashamed.
Hudaya Nampiima, engineer
If I am sure he is the man of my life, I would do it unconditionally. These days, the more thoughtful you are to your partner, the more fulfilled and happy they will be! In return, he will love you more.
Harriet Namutebi, medic
I would wash them in order to prove my love to him. A partner is like a closet, once you begin using it, you have to maintain it and keep it clean. Since my husband is somebody I share a lot with, smile and cry with, why not do those small details. They mean a lot to our relationship.
Maureen Nakanwagi, nurse
I wash my partner’s underwear. Since some men are too lazy to wash their under garments, I do it to prove to him that he is the man of my life. Besides, if they are old, washing them helps me notice that we need to buy new ones.