- Being unmarried in a typical Nigerian society is equal to being cursed. The unmarried state here is applicable to both male and female. But the case of an unmarried lady carries more weight. Almost every unmarried lady in her mid or late 20s experience pressure of various degrees to get married and start having kids. There are experiences that are common to the unmarried Nigerian woman. They don’t allow them their own peace of mind.
For a woman to be unmarried and have a successful career is often termed a taboo. No matter how successful you are, your unmarried state as a woman could term that success null and void. In fact, being a successful woman witch hunts a woman’s chances of getting married. For example, a lady of 28 years who isn’t married gets a promotion at work and gets an official car and house as bonus for it, instead of being congratulated at home, she is reminded of how these achievements could scare prospective husbands away. A lot of single ladies can attest to this. Is it a crime for a single lady to climb up the ladder of success in her career?
I would not forget to add the spiritual notes added to being single. The spiritual husband possession is one myth that some people use in explaining why a woman would be unmarried at 30. She would visit several men of God for ‘deliverance’ and take different spiritual concoction for this deliverance. A lot of single women can attest to this. Many single women are seen as people suffering from demon possession. This is nothing but a myth.
Have you ever woken up and your mother sits by the corner of your bed, calling names of friends and family who are your age mates and are planning to get married soonest. This act is an intentional act to remind you that you need to bring your own husband too. When you attend we weddings, questions on when you will call them for a similar occasion will fill the air. This can be exhausting.
Being unmarried is not a curse. Some marry early, others marry late and some may never get married. This is the reality. Give unmarried women a break.