Why Are Women in Their 30s Still Single?

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Have you noticed that there are so many women in their 30s nowadays that are still very single? By very single I mean, they are not married, wouldn’t be bothered to start looking for a man right now, have never been married and have no children whatsoever – and no prospects of that situation ever changing!

Yes, that is the situation in town and especially in high-brow cities, where you will find the upwardly mobile career woman who has it all career-wise and feels nothing for relationships.

I overheard a debate one day that quite intrigued me. A bunch of both women and men (probably in their 30s) were arguing that back in their day they were taught to be disciplined and passionate about work, being successful in school and that work had to come first.

The argument continued… Men in their 30s cannot successfully date their age mates as most women who fall in this age bracket are very career focused or focus on just making it in life hence are very much equal to their men making it difficult to create a strong relationship bond.(You know men and their ego and about who wears the pants in the relationship).

They proceeded to say that the ladies born in the 80s are not so hardworking and that their priorities are all over the place and therefore have time for relationships.

That she (the 80s girl) was not pushed as much to be overly successful or ambitious, that she was more babied -to be precise.

The men therefore then opt for much younger girls in their early 20s who may not be interested in getting married in the short term. This makes most single women in their 30s stuck with flings, or dating younger men… with zero marriage prospects.

… Need I say that I completely disagree with all that! Which brings me to my argument on this issue.

See, I was born in the mid 80s and I have a fair share of friends whom I went to school with and are now pilots, aeronautical engineers (my former desk mate), advocates and doctors and I even know of two who are currently pursuing their PhD -talk about focus.

So I didn’t quite understand their argument. If its ambition, then everyone (born in whichever decade) has it! In my books their argument wasn’t really valid.

So many of my friends have flourishing careers, can afford the finer things in life and can still find time to maintain healthy relationships.

Does this mean that since girls born in the 80s work hard and still make time to play are more at ease with life? And are eating life with a big spoon?

A certain 30-something woman successful in her career says “We’ve become too westernized and aren’t willing to settle. We’re too independent, demanding and self-centered to sustain relationships. Our generation is torn between being traditional in a very forward thinking setting.”

But then I know of 30-something women who would beg to differ. I’m talking about those who are seriously still looking for husbands. Some even forced to become cougars. Hmmm… so who wins in this battle of the decades?

Feel free to share your sentiments.

About author

Kemi Wale-Olaitan

Kemi is a retired broadcaster from the service of Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria; while in service, she had her interest in women issues and had interviews with several notable women in the course of her duty as a producer in the service of the Federal government. Her interest in broadcasting was informed by her creative writing prowess; she has been very active in creative writing since her undergraduate days, and she has written a few fictional works in form of short stories and novel. Some of her short stories have appeared in anthologies of Short stories. Kemi was also very active in the establishment of the Women Writers Association of Nigeria (WRITA) and she served on its first Executive Council.

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