My mother always told me that silence is the best way to deal with unnecessary confrontations. For a while, my usually active mouth (when it wants to) adjusted to this – I even found myself silent in cases where I’d normally be running my mouth off like a Hoover! But this was just when it came to petty arguments with friends and people you do not wish to explain yourself to.
Josephine has lived with her boyfriend for over four years now. They practically seem married to me. However, her boyfriend is one of those obsessed with silent treatment every time they clash. “He doesn’t speak to me for some time after we argue – the record being three weeks. Sometimes he does this when we’ve not even had a row. How can I reach him when he’s like this?” She wonders.
Like Josephine, I too found myself with a rather complex individual when it came to fights. For someone convinced that fighting was common in couples, it beat my understand every time he sulked after a fight. He literally behaved like a child whose doll (or toy car) had been taken away and given to another child.
Just to see how far we’d go, I would try to play his game but like I said, a usually active mouth will eventually give in. So I’d end up breaking the silence. Being the one to break the silence pissed me off more than you can imagine, but someone had to.
Some might look at the silent treatment as wise and mature, but what is so wise and mature about two grown people living in the same house going about their day-to-day activities while totally ignoring each other? Sure, you might avoid anger that will make you issue a few low blows but the bottom line is, if you do not talk about it, no matter how agitated you are, it won’t fix anything.
If you haven’t faced this yet, I can tell you now that nothing hurts like being on the receiving end of silent treatment. If you love me, I’d rather you spared me the trauma of watching a dumb version of you and communicate instead. Talk to me… I’m not an animal for Pete’s sake. Silence will only drift you further apart. So, if your man is up to these useless tricks, stand firm. Let him know you will not tolerate being ignored as if you are invisible. Be the better person and do not resort to this nonsense just to show him that you will not lose the battle. If that’s the case, you might as well get separate apartments and forget the other exists.
People, let us act like the adults that we are.