And for all you men who were grappling with an excuse to ‘bend’ these skimpily dressed babes and wenches, Christmas came in September!
You heard him, the state minister for Children and Youth imploring all you men not to ‘spare the rod, lest you spoil the babes’. She steps out skimpy, you simply wallop. And when you are done, get the cops to lock her up. Her crime? Inviting rape on herself! Like, seriously?
Now, let me compose myself and put my five pence on this matter in proper English. Some background to those who have just landed from Mars is important.
So, Alien, last week, reports splashed all over that the state minister for Youth Ronald Kibuule (This name has something about ‘getting lost’) cautioned women, young and old, from indecent dressing, saying it invites and lures men to rape them-at minimum effort.
And that in fact, should you report the crime meted unto you but investigations show you were skimpily dressed or naked, if you wish, you immediately assume the role of accused, not complainant!
By skimpy dressing he means, a miniskirt, a long shirt that passes for a dress stopping just above the lower curves of your butt and yes, tight jeans -the type you wear jumping up and down and remove my tearing apart!
Hoh! The worldwide web went into frenzy. This trending so fast and furious, it knocked off the Kenyan terror catastrophe with so much ease. You would imagine this man Kibuule disappeared only to return wearing a suicide belt and standing in Owino (St Balikuddembe) market.
Are you still wondering what about this that made this man an instant hit everywhere? Well, women and their sympathisers accused him of being, at best, a misogynist! If there is anything worse than that, then it should assume the noun Kibuule.
Calls for his resignation, in a country where public officials will steal from the dying and step over them in flight but not resign, were out so loud. He even appeared on the floor of Parliament where he did the guy thing, deny, deny, deny!
In defence of Kibuule, I ask, why would, for hell’s sake, do wenches like Doreen Kabareebe (don’t ask who or what her claim to fame, this name is simply synonymous to bad behaviour, the kind no woman worth her name would love to be associated with) dress the way they do, if it’s not about attracting attention to themselves?
So shameless, they will be in public and pose for pictures in a state almost aptly called nude. For these, you cannot scare them into proper dressing, not even the danger of rape would scare them to wear a panty. Don’t tell me, ‘fashion’ because it’s fashionable in some cultures to mutilate female reproductive organs.
The sum of what the world wants to hang Kibuule for is, I can say, his attempt at scare-mongering. It is true the word decency for the most part doesn’t describe many a youth in Uganda, be they female or male. What with wearing pants sagging from just above the knee? Heck, pants are made to cover the groin area, dwang!
And so Kibuule, made the folly of scaring us into dressing well with rape, a capital offence punishable by up to a death sentence, mbu. It’s like scaring your kid that if they do not eat their dinner, you will burn their hands with boiling water!
There are parents who burn their kids’ hands with boiling water, but that cannot be justifiable because the kids stole a cent from the home piggy or didn’t eat ice cream. But it is enough scare for the kids even if we descend on the parent like we did on Kibuule.
See the challenge with Kibuule is he may not come off as the best person to vanguard good moral turpitude among the youth; a 29-year-old Christian with two wives is no good moral yardstick.
But give it to him, the geezer dresses smartly; though he needs to comb his hair more thoroughly while thinking through what he is about to say, not after saying it!