Know Your Place in your relationship

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Just a few days ago I had one of those genuine conversations with one of my girlfriends. But first, I will have you know that I am a huge fan of books and I spend lots of time listening to audio books or even reading hard copybooks. Lately I have been listening to Dr. Brene Brown on issues of shame guilt and vulnerability. Being a psychologist, I must say I find her very relevant.

And this is why; I have been having a hard time dealing with some issues on relationships and that is mainly because of my friend Sarah. She is dating a man who is allegedly issuing her very noncommittal statements despite the huge amounts of time she spends with him. He sends her very confusing signals, sometimes he is very sentimental and cozy with her and other times he is just a pain. She probably doesn’t know this but I think he is cheating.

Naturally my out of the blue reaction was to tell Sarah to stay clear of the guy and see what happens which she did not accept. Honestly, I hate the hide and seek dating kind of relationships but Sarah seems not to mind it since she insists on staying with a guy that shows no interest in her at all.

Now I am afraid that Sarah could be on a path of emotional turmoil.

Let me be frank with you, I have a solid belief that men are wired to take lead, they always know what they want, when they want and just how they want it.

If he is giving you all these ambiguous messages he might be a time waster taking advantage of your desperate situation or you might be a backup plan since two is always better than one, to avoid heartbreaks men always keep two just in case anything happens, Unfortunately Sarah could be one of those many women who are a side card just in case things go wrong.

There so many like Sarah in the world and I think it is about time you all stop being comfortable in the grey areas. We all have choices to make you must demand to know your place.

A selfless relationship is always vulnerable but yields good lasting fruit but on the other hand a selfish one is like sitting on a time bomb willingly.

About author

Kemi Wale-Olaitan

Kemi is a retired broadcaster from the service of Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria; while in service, she had her interest in women issues and had interviews with several notable women in the course of her duty as a producer in the service of the Federal government. Her interest in broadcasting was informed by her creative writing prowess; she has been very active in creative writing since her undergraduate days, and she has written a few fictional works in form of short stories and novel. Some of her short stories have appeared in anthologies of Short stories. Kemi was also very active in the establishment of the Women Writers Association of Nigeria (WRITA) and she served on its first Executive Council.

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